Alone in this Big World

No one understands. No matter how you explain it or how others explain it no one understands. It seems like the more often people say, “I understand what you’re going through…” the more and more I get frustrated. Until you experience the pain day after day, night after night, minute after minute, please don’t tell me, “I understand.” Now I know that I shouldn’t say that NO ONE understands because other trigeminal neuralgia sufferers do understand the pain and suffering I am going through. It is my hope that the dedication to this blog will allow a place for other TN sufferers to show me that they do understand what I’m going through.

I have tried to explain to my family what I am going through. They have read up on TN to familiarize themselves with this “condition” but they still don’t understand. They will tell me daily that they understand what I am going through and each time I hear that I want to say, “Please, let me stab you in the face with an ice pick” then they can tell me that they know what the pain is like but until they are struck with it time and time again they still won’t truly understand. Feeling isolated from my family is not fun.

Co-workers. They will tell me that they are sorry I don’t feel well. My boss will tell me the same thing. But should I put a blanket over my face to block the air condition from blowing on me they are the first to laugh. I explain to them, like I have many times before, that I have a disability and it is something that helps me. Still, they laugh. To me this is them all laughing at a disabled person and it is down right ignorant. They don’t laugh at an overweight person that is eating. They don’t laugh at a soldier who lost his leg at war and walks with a prosthesis. Yet when one places a blanket over their face to prevent pain caused by air blowing, they laugh? This is probably the same person that prays for his or her family member’s health each evening before bed. Another example of loneliness.

The pain is intensified by cold/warm air blowing on my face. Loud noises also cause pain. At times I find myself hibernating in my bedroom because I can control the noise level and where the air the air is blowing or how to protect myself from my air conditioner and ceiling fan. Still feeling alone.

For those suffering from trigeminal neuralgia I am reaching out to you to let you know that you are not alone in this big world. I am here with you, suffering right along side of you. For those that had trigeminal neuralgia and have since been cured, please reach out to us currently suffering and encourage us during this difficult time. You have probably witnessed the same type of pain as we are experiencing now, and know what we are going through. If you are a family member or a friend who has a trigeminal neuralgia sufferer please reach out to that loved one and tell him or her that you may not understand (actually saying this alone could be the most supportive thing you could say) what they are going through but that you are there to support them. If you are surrounded by someone who suffers from trigeminal neuralgia ask how you can help him or her instead of making them the victim of your jokes. Help to make them realize that although they may feel alone with the pain they are being supported. Help the sufferer realize that he or she is not alone in this big world!